From a very thoughtful, compassionate and beautifully written essay by Professor Barry McCrae of Yale:
There is no logic in unrequited love any more than there is logic in a headache or a flu, and to try to make the lover submit his love to the conscious operation of reason is like trying to cure his migraine by taking his photo.
* * *
Only a combination of time and distance can cure unrequited love: the lover must be physically separated from the object of her affections for a significant period of time.
I recently deactivated my Facebook account. I got tired of reading insignificant details about the lives of people I seldom see. Who cares if Bob ate a steak dinner tonight? And the quizzes were annoying. Folks must be really bored. Well, it seems I’m not alone. The New York Times published an article entitled “Facebook Exodus” which reports that “while people are still joining Facebook and compulsively visiting the site, a small but noticeable group are fleeing — some of them ostentatiously.”
See also this Newsweek story: You Can’t Friend Me, I Quit! The author exclaims “When I think about all the hours I wasted this past year on Facebook, and imagine the good I could have done instead, it depresses me.”
“Love and patience — if only he had them both at once — would surely have seen them both through.”
— “On Chesil Beach” by Ian McEwan (pp. 202-203)
“It’s like going on an ocean cruise and refusing to enter into friendships or interesting activities in order to avoid the pain of the inevitable end of the cruise.”
— From “Staring at the Sun” by Irvin D. Yalom
“I felt uneasy: Shouldn’t I be doing something? Well, if I wanted to invent work, that wouldn’t take much effort. We all have projects to develop, lightbulbs to change, leaves to sweep, books to put away, computer files to organize, etc. But how about just facing up to the void?”
From “The Witch of Portobello” by Paulo Coelho at p. 71.
Steve Pavlina writes an insightful blog about personal development. He often conveys hard to grasp concepts clearly in very few words. In a recent post Steve explains that relationships are within our thoughts and that when we react emotionally to a quality that we perceive to be in another person we are really reacting to a quality that is within ourselves:
I encourage you to experiment to see how your external relationships reflect your internal ones. Try this simple exercise: Make a list of all the things that bother you about other people. Now re-read that list as if it applies to you. If you’re honest you’ll have to admit that all of your complaints about others are really complaints about yourself.
This is an extremely powerful concept that if followed with discipline has the potential to lead to great personal growth.